5 Home Remedies for Mommy Guilt

 

 

Mommy Guilt: (noun):// An affliction of the mind resulting in feelings of inadequacy associated with motherhood.

Every mother has experienced it, the dreaded Mommy Guilt. We’re constantly bombarded with supermoms who do it all. They work, they bake, they sell Girl Scout cookies, head the PTO committee, and make nearly everything by hand. Their homes are immaculate and their children are the most well mannered.  Then there’s the rest of us. All of my cookies are store bought and my crafts usually don’t turn out right. My daughter occasionally watches too much TV and often times I’ll have baby in one hand while blogging with the other. I feel guilty for not working but when I did work I felt guilty for not staying at home. So on days that Mommy Guilt starts to take over, here are 5 home remedies for dealing with it.

                                                                                  

 1. Pretend

Take off your shoes, get down on the floor, and pretend. Have an old fashioned tea party, play pirates, build a fort, just use your imagination and encourage your child to as well. Let them lead the way. But don’t do it because you feel you have to, and don’t be rushed. Take your time and let yourself enjoy it. Your kid(s) will love it and you’ll feel better afterwards.

2. Sunday Dinner

It doesn’t have to be on a Sunday, but take the time to make a big meal for your family. Let your kids help. Think Thanksgiving, but maybe a little smaller. It doesn’t have to be anything amazing, just something more special than usual. Be prepared to make a mess and promise yourself to ignore it until later in the day. If you can’t squeeze in the time for a whole dinner try making a special dessert with the kiddos.

3. Family Movie Night

Family movie night is a weekly tradition in our house. We eat in the living room, watch a movie, and eat pizza. It’s easy and it gives us a chance to relax and spend time together at the same time (which can be a feat). Afterwards we usually play a favorite game that we can all enjoy like Spot It or Quelf Jr.

4. Take the day off

This one is for when mommy guilt is hitting you hard. Whether you stay at home or work, take the day off. Send the kids to school as usual. Take a shower, get ready, and go sign them out of school early. Go to the park, go to the movies, go to lunch, whatever you think they’d like. You don’t have to spend a lot of money or do anything outrageous, they’ll enjoy just spending the time with you and having the chance to play hooky. It will be something they remember forever, I promise. If you don’t want them to miss school or you can’t take the whole day off then try going and having lunch with them at school. Most schools have an open door policy and allow parents to eat lunch with their children. Just make sure they’re not already old enough to be embarrassed about mom showing up for lunch.

5. Stop

Even when the house is clean, dinner is cooked, and we’ve spent plenty of time with the kids we can have feelings of Mommy Guilt. Sometimes Mommy Guilt can result from feeling the desire to not have all the responsibility we have, and feeling selfish as a result. It’s normal, and I’ve found that it’s the worst form of Mommy Guilt. Sometimes I just want to soak in the tub for an hour, drink a glass of wine, and let the baby cry. I don’t, but I want to, sometimes. That makes me feel more guilty than anything. But it’s ok to feel selfish sometimes. So when this level of guilt strikes do what I did. Stop. Don’t do a thing except take care of the kids (unless you can persuade hubby to do so). Let the housework go, order take out, veg out in front of the tv with a glass of wine and your favorite Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. Do it for at least one whole day, maybe even two. Yes, you’ll eventually have a big mess to clean up, but it’ll be worth it. The first time I did this I can’t tell you how much of a revelation it was. The kids survived, I survived, and even though the house was a mess, it was ok. Sometimes the guilt we feel is because of expectations we place on ourselves, rather than those that are placed on us by society. Sometimes we just have to realize that the world won’t stop just because we do.