Mommy Guilt: (noun):// An affliction of the mind resulting in feelings of inadequacy associated with motherhood.
Every
mother has experienced it, the dreaded Mommy Guilt. We’re constantly bombarded with supermoms who do it
all. They work, they bake, they sell Girl Scout cookies, head the PTO
committee, and make nearly everything by hand. Their homes are immaculate and
their children are the most well mannered.
Then there’s the rest of us. All
of my cookies are store bought and my crafts usually don’t turn out right. My daughter occasionally watches
too much TV and often times I’ll have
baby in one hand while blogging with the other. I feel guilty for not working
but when I did work I felt guilty for not staying at home. So on days that
Mommy Guilt starts to take over, here are 5 home remedies for dealing with it.
Take
off your shoes, get down on the floor, and pretend. Have an old fashioned tea party,
play pirates, build a fort, just use your imagination and encourage your child
to as well. Let them lead the way. But don’t do it because you feel you have to, and don’t be rushed. Take your time and let yourself enjoy
it. Your kid(s) will love it and you’ll
feel better afterwards.
2. Sunday Dinner
It
doesn’t have to be on a Sunday, but
take the time to make a big meal for your family. Let your kids help. Think
Thanksgiving, but maybe a little smaller. It doesn’t have to be anything amazing, just something more
special than usual. Be prepared to make a mess and promise yourself to ignore
it until later in the day. If you can’t
squeeze in the time for a whole dinner try making a special dessert with the
kiddos.
3. Family Movie Night
Family
movie night is a weekly tradition in our house. We eat in the living room, watch
a movie, and eat pizza. It’s easy and
it gives us a chance to relax and spend time together at the same time (which
can be a feat). Afterwards we usually play a favorite game that we can all
enjoy like Spot It or Quelf Jr.
4. Take the day off
This one is for when mommy guilt is hitting
you hard. Whether you stay at home or work, take the day off. Send the kids to
school as usual. Take a shower, get ready, and go sign them out of school
early. Go to the park, go to the movies, go to lunch, whatever you think they’d like. You don’t have to spend a lot of money or do anything outrageous, they’ll enjoy just spending the time with you and having
the chance to play hooky. It will be something they remember forever, I
promise. If you don’t want them to miss
school or you can’t take the whole day
off then try going and having lunch with them at school. Most schools have an
open door policy and allow parents to eat lunch with their children. Just make
sure they’re not already old enough to
be embarrassed about mom showing up for lunch.
5. Stop
Even
when the house is clean, dinner is cooked, and we’ve spent plenty of time with the kids we can have
feelings of Mommy Guilt. Sometimes Mommy Guilt can result from feeling the
desire to not have all the responsibility we have, and feeling selfish as a
result. It’s normal, and I’ve found that it’s the worst form of Mommy Guilt. Sometimes I just want to soak in the
tub for an hour, drink a glass of wine, and let the baby cry. I don’t, but I want to, sometimes. That makes me feel more
guilty than anything. But it’s ok to
feel selfish sometimes. So when this level of guilt strikes do what I did.
Stop. Don’t do a thing except take care
of the kids (unless you can persuade hubby to do so). Let the housework go,
order take out, veg out in front of the tv with a glass of wine and your
favorite Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. Do
it for at least one whole day, maybe even two. Yes, you’ll eventually have a big mess to clean up, but it’ll be worth it. The first time I did this I can’t tell you how much of a revelation it was. The kids
survived, I survived, and even though the house was a mess, it was ok.
Sometimes the guilt we feel is because of expectations we place on ourselves,
rather than those that are placed on us by society. Sometimes we just have to
realize that the world won’t stop just
because we do.
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